


Sun Rays

by bexcj



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:08:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bexcj/pseuds/bexcj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Alternate Universe</b> - <i>"It's not just one thing that comes and goes away. It's a constant ache and then sometimes it'll feel sharp, like you're being stabbed. Then it moves up your stomach and into your chest and through your entire body if you're not with them. You can feel everything they feel. When they're in pain you feel it, and when they're happy it's like sun rays."</i></p><p>Aaron falls in love with his girlfriend's brother and it's a painfully blissful experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sun Rays

**Author's Note:**

> this was heavily inspired by reinacadeea's [lost myself again and i feel unsafe](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5349866/chapters/12353903) in the way that it's a soulmate/falling in love AU. 
> 
> hope u like it i tried changing up my writing style a little bit to see if it flowed a bit better, let me know if you prefer it or hate it i appreciate feedback even if it's criticism.
> 
> enjoy!!!!!

"My mum says when you fall in love with someone you can feel it in your tummy." Sammy says whilst Aaron snatches the glitter out of his hand, pouring the contents out onto his home-made Christmas card. He holds it up and watches in fascination as the silver glitter pours down onto his trousers, leaving a small amount on the card in the shape of a tree.   
  
He looks to Sammy then, "That ain't true. My mum's never said that."   
  
And Sammy just laughs. "Well she hasn't fallen in love then you idiot."   
  
Aaron frowns at him before poking his tongue out playfully, scooping the loose glitter off his trousers and throwing it in the blond boy's direction. Naturally, a glitter fight begins and inevitably, they get in a lot of trouble with Mr Donald.  
  
He was ten back then, and he doesn't hear about the vicious rumour on falling in love until four years later as Rachel Smith declares she's experienced the infamous feeling. Everyone in the class is crowding around her as she gives her account, twirling her ginger hair and waving at the boy at the back who's holding his head in his hands.   
  
"It was like a push, no, a pull! You couldn't miss it, honestly. It hurt a bit, but then it felt nice and light" It doesn't take a genius to tell she's bullshitting and so Aaron rolls his eyes, strolling over to the embarrassed boy at the root of the lie.   
  
"You feel it then?" He snorts at the small boy, who looks up from his hands and furrows his thick brows. "What?"  
  
Aaron gestures to Rachel. "You know, the push."   
  
The boy nods his head then, and Aaron sits down as his own body fills with intrigue. "What did it feel like?"  
  
"Did?" The boy tilts his head in confusion and laughs at him. "It's not just one thing that comes and goes away. It's a constant ache and then sometimes it'll feel sharp, like you're being stabbed. Then it moves up your stomach and into your chest and through your entire body if you're not with them. You can feel everything they feel. When they're in pain you feel it, and when they're happy it's like sun rays."   
  
Aaron blinks at sheer speed of the information being thrown at him. Was he supposed to know all of this? Did they cover it in a lesson he missed? He's been so unaware but the boy's account sounds traumatizing, and that's why Aaron declares that night to never fall in love with anyone, because only an idiot would put themselves through that kind of pain.  
  
When he's eighteen, Aaron goes back to living with his mum in Emmerdale and spots a girl, a younger that he decides he'll mess around with. After all, he's a raging virgin and needs to sort that out quickly, and Victoria lives near him so it's the best of options. Besides, she fancies the pants off him and it's blissfully obvious.  
  
They start dating in late March and by mid May they've had sex, sloppy and not very entertaining but it's a milestone so Aaron doesn't care. As content as he is with the messiness, he lies in bed at night and thinks about the fourteen year old's words, how falling in love hurts every muscle inside of you and physically weighs you down. As exhausting and scary as that sounds, Aaron can't help but wonder what it feels like, can't help but crave it.   
  
It usually occurs immediately after physical contact is initiated, but in rare cases, the physical pain will reach a person after being with their significant other for a few years. Two and a half years after being together, Victoria grows sick. Aaron lays by her bedside and nurses her, though when she explains her symptoms, he gathers a fair idea of what could be wrong.   
  
"I just ache everywhere, really badly in my stomach and chest. I feel a bit better when you're here looking after me though, doc." She giggles and coughs at the same time so he strokes at her forehead, a small smile breaking through his emotionless expression. He's utterly jealous of her, he'd much rather be in that bed, feeling sick with love.   
  
He doesn't love Victoria. He could have told you that two and a half years ago when they shared their first kiss. He wants to love her and he tries to all the time, in the hopes that if he convinces himself for long enough it may just happen. And now that she's felt it, he will too. He has to. Falling in love doesn't happen one way, that's not fair.  
  
A year after Victoria falls in love with him, her older brother returns after being away for about eight years. Aaron doesn't know much about him, only that he's a bit of a twat and Vic's other brother hates him. Vic loves him though, which means she drags Aaron to the pub in order to instigate a meeting, ignoring his protests.   
  
The first time Aaron sets eyes on Victoria's older brother is a new experience altogether. It's as if he's knocked for six, the air evaporating from his windpipe whilst his blood rushes downwards, which definitely should not be happening. The older brother is...attractive, really attractive. It's an attraction Aaron has never felt for anyone. There's an urge to lean forward and touch his shoulder and face, other areas of his body maybe.  
  
The older brother turns around and pulls his little sister into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth to fully savour the moment. And then he moves to Aaron.   
  
"You must be the boyfriend!" He exclaims with raised eyebrows, holding his hand out for Aaron to shake, which he does.  
  
And it's instant.   
  
A sharp electric impulse runs through his hand and up his arm, shooting directly into the pit of his stomach and causing it to wrench fiercely. Aaron's eyes squeeze shut in pain and he lets go of the blond's hand, but it's far too late to prevent.  
  
Victoria flies forward in defence because she feels it too, pulling him away from the older brother's grip and towards the back of the pub where she sits him down. "What's happened? You were in pain."   
  
She strokes his face as he frantically attempts to conjure a valid excuse. "Yeah, yeah I just haven't eaten yet, so my stomach went a bit funny. When's the lunch coming?"   
  
And his girlfriend laughs at him, stroking and kissing at his cheeks whilst sighing in relief, assuring him she'll pester Marlon into getting him something early. He smiles through the constant panging at his gut, and as the fourteen year old had predicted, it's ever so slowly rising through him towards his chest.    
  
As he tries to compose himself in the men's bathroom, the door opens and the older brother walks in. Robert is his name. Aaron turns to him and the pain eases, becomes bearable.   
  
Robert stares at him coldly. "You're leading my sister on." Is all he says in a plain voice.   
  
Aaron shakes his head, teeth gritted as he lies. "I love her."   
  
"But you're not _in_ love with her." He's quick to correct, and Aaron can't make an excuse when his arms are wrapped awkwardly around his abdomen.   
  
"Maybe I am, just now." He tries, raising an eyebrow quizzically at Robert, who scoffs at the attempt.   
  
"No you're not." He repeats. He slowly edges closer and Aaron isn't sure why, but he isn't complaining because the closer Robert gets, the easier it becomes to bear.  
  
The older one continues, "Because what you're feeling right now, that pain? I can feel it too."   
  
Aaron furrows a brow. "You're in love, so what?" He wants to prolong this. He doesn't want to fall in love with his girlfriend's brother.  
  
But he has. "Don't fight it, Aaron. Please don't fight me."   
  
Robert's hands slide up his body to his cheeks as Aaron pries his hands from his stomach and places them on the older man's waist. They waste no time before their lips find each other, digging deep into each other's mouths hungrily, like they've been waiting a lifetime for this. Aaron supposes they have.  
  
A hand makes it's way down Aaron's trousers and he moans at the contact before Robert's even under his boxers. There's something so unique about his touch compared to Victoria's, it feels different. Pleasure runs through every one of his nerves and he can't help but pull Robert into him, grinding up against the blond's crotch and earning a moan.   
  
It's an urge too strong to reject and so they pull each other up the stairs into one of the stray bedrooms and fall onto the bed, ripping each other's clothing off urgently and wasting no time before one's pushing into the other, answering the plea of their two bodies. 

Robert's mysterious and confident demeanour completely vanishes after they have sex. He's sloppy and giggly and it tingles at Aaron's spine. He kisses at Aaron's jaw whilst lightly tapping his fingers against the younger man's stomach, and Aaron's so ticklish that he has to guide the hand elsewhere. 

They come together whilst their limbs are tangled, and once they dress themselves and head back downstairs, Aaron knows he's fucked up. He'd forgotten the fourteen year old's vital words, that when you fall in love with someone you can feel what they do, and Victoria fell in love with him one year ago. 

She's staring at him with tears in her eyes which are yet to fall onto her cheeks. He opens his mouth to speak, but he has nothing to say that can make up for this. She leaves the room promptly and quietly so no one else is interrupted, but Aaron can feel Robert's eyes on him because they share the same guilt within their guts.

A stray pint of beer on the bench doesn't get wasted as Aaron slides it down his throat, adoring the burn against his insides. He sits on one of the seats outside the pub as his head falls into his hands, and part of him wants to laugh at his resemblance to the fourteen year old boy who felt the exact same thing. The pains fade as a hand spreads across his back and so he falls into Robert's lap, allowing the tears to flow as the guilt rises to his head.

"What have I done?" He whimpers, the pain so clear in his voice that he feels sympathetic towards himself. 

Robert strokes at his hair, his fingers flowing through the strands with ease. "S'not your fault. You can't help it when fate calls." 

"I knew I didn't love her and I let her fall in love with me. I'm such a bad person. So bad." 

"You were scared of the feeling and so you buried yourself with someone you couldn't love. I understand." Robert says softly as Aaron's heart inappropriately flutters. "I was the same, I even got married." 

Aaron's brows knit together and he sits up again. "You're married?"

"Was," The blond corrects. "She fell in love and set me free so I couldn't use her as a cover anymore." 

Aaron nods in understanding because he's in the same position with Vic. He's going to have to set her free, but he can't do that. 

"I need to make it up with my girlfriend, see you in a bit." He mutters quickly so he doesn't have to be near Robert for any longer, because the closer he becomes, the harder it'll be to leave him alone. 

He can sense Rob's confusion from behind his back. "You're not seriously going to stay with her, are you?"

Aaron doesn't need to reply because Robert knows the answer, he can feel it. "She's my sister, Aaron. I'm not gonna sit back and watch you hurt her like this." 

But Aaron does it anyway.

"I'm in love with _you_ , Vic." He feels so sick and he doesn't know whether it's because he's lying about something serious or because it's how the older brother feels. "I've fallen for you, no one else. What you felt earlier was me wanting you so badly." 

Victoria kisses him gentle and slow, and he's never felt more repulsed even though he kisses her back. Her and Robert share half of the same blood, so his closeness to her is technically closeness to him and maybe that will get him through this.

His head sits uncomfortably on his pillow that night, his brain unable to shut off due to the sharp pains stabbing his lower stomach. He has an urge to get up and head to the pub, an uncontrollable craving that's almost too much to bear, and so he wraps his arms around Vic and pulls her into him, kissing at her hair and cheeks as he tries to picture Robert there so his body won't reject it.

Within a week he grows sick with a virus, a case of the flu as his unprofessional mother diagnosed it. Aaron knows it isn't a bug because apparently Robert has the same thing according to Diane, but Aaron already knew that because he could feel it whenever the blond's throat was at it's sorest. 

After two weeks of no healing, Victoria persuades the pair of them to see a nurse in order to prescribe them with some medicine which will actually work. When they see each other their symptoms begin to fade, and Aaron's able to breathe the first breath of fresh air for the first time since they'd left each other.

"Hi," Robert says in a low voice, turning one corner of his mouth upwards but not the other. Aaron simply nods and leads the way into the waiting room after Vic says goodbye and leaves them. They sit side by side awkwardly, fiddling with their fingers in order to distract themselves from each other's bodies, though it proves no use. 

Aaron feels a hand curve over his and it's like stepping into the coldest shower, the refreshing sensation pouring over him and allowing him to come to life. He doesn't say anything next, just pulls Robert's hand and guides him towards an empty room, shoving him inside and locking the door whilst praying to God the doctor is on a long lunch break. 

They fuck on the examination table in the doctor's room whilst knocking over most of the supplies in the process, calling out each other's names in harsh whispers so as not to alarm anyone outside. Aaron hasn't experienced such a beautiful feeling in forever, and then he comes and it's like reaching paradise. Robert pulls out of him and sits up so they're opposite each other, their legs either side of the table. Neither of them speak, but they bore into each other's eyes like they're trying to drown in the moment. Aaron wishes he could.

Robert leans forward and kisses him, short and soft though it still manages to make Aaron shiver. But it's not enough, and it feels like a reflex action when his hand reaches up and cups the blond's neck, pulling him forward and reconnecting their lips.

He wants to bask in the company of Robert forever because it feels like that time he got high when he was nineteen, the world around him growing blurry as he began to forget everything. Being in love feels like a constant high, and just like getting high, he has to come down. 

He returns home alone with the news that there isn't a diagnosis, and Victoria falls into his arms and begins to cry. His illness is growing worse, all of the symptoms returning with double force after he and Robert left each other. The stabbing in his stomach is beginning to rise to his chest and he knows exactly what comes after. 

He needs to be with Robert before his health deteriorates to a low point. Destiny can't be cheated. But then Aaron has a thought, a dreadful realisation which is literally a matter of life or death: If he's away from Robert, he and Robert will only get worse. But if Victoria is away from him, she will become ill.

It hits him like a ton of bricks and his legs carry him straight to the bathroom where he throws up into the toilet. There is no possible way to fix this, no way to save both of the siblings that he loves with all his heart. He has to keep seeing both of them, he has no choice. 

He meets up with Robert by the barn the next day when Vic thinks he's sleeping, and he can't help but fall into the older man's arms with tears staining his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Robert's voice is so soft it makes Aaron shiver, almost causes him to forget everything. 

He takes a deep breath. "Can you die from this? Being away from someone you..." 

"Yeah. It happens a lot of the time. I mean, people think it's just pneumonia, I think that's what they say in the post mortem because the symptoms are so similar. There's no evidence of true love existing and so they're sure it's a myth, but you can die from it." 

Aaron breaks down then, muttering the words through his sobs. "Vic could die if I don't stay with her, you know that?" 

Robert's brows fall and his legs threaten to follow, though he musters strength from somewhere deep inside which manages to boost Aaron as well. "You could die if you stay with her."

"There's no winning, Robert. I have to do something." 

"I - I don't know, Aaron, I -" 

The pain in the older man's voice sends Aaron over the edge and so he presses their lips together with a large amount of force in the hopes that it'll subside it. Robert pulls their bodies together and breathes Aaron in. They're never close enough, even when they're touching. 

Robert kisses him again and again and again. "I love you," He whispers directly into Aaron's ear, and the words hit like a blinding light hitting his eyes. He's in heaven.

"I love you," Falls out of his mouth in the most effortless way, and he traces every inch of Robert's body with his fingers to ensure he's covered it all. 

And whilst in his high, it all naturally comes crashing down. 

"You didn't have to lie all this time." 

Their heads shoot up simultaneously and the pang of guilt doubles because they both feel it at the same time. Vic is standing there with heartbreak slapped across her face, though there are no tears among her eyes. "You didn't have to lie."

"Vic," Aaron tries, stepping out of Robert's touch and towards her instead, but she repels it in the same way he has done all this time. 

"Why did you lie to me, Aaron? Did you think I wouldn't be able to feel your happiness whenever you weren't with me? That I couldn't feel when you two were -" 

And that's when the tears come, hot and hard down her cheeks as she lets them fall. Aaron wants to keel over at the horrible feeling inside him right now. He's a terrible person. "I'm so sorry...I didn't want to hurt you."

"But that's what made it hurt ten times more, Aaron. If you were honest -" 

"I love you." He interrupts her, and that is honest. He's just not _in_ love with her, though he's never claimed to be so technically it's not a lie.

He's a **terrible** person. 

"But you're in love with my _brother_ and that's so wrong." He can see her sickness and he's aching to take it away. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it -"

"I know," She sniffs, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her auburn jumper. "But now I'm bounded to you and all I feel is pain." 

Aaron shakes his head, he can't bear to let her feel that. "I'll stay with you. I do love you, Vic, I don't want you to feel hurt." 

She laughs at him, a hearty chuckle which makes him feel like dirt on the ground. "You love me as a friend, Aaron. Nothing more than that, just admit it!" 

He lowers his head. He can't even admit that to himself, let alone her. But it's enough of an answer for her to continue.

"I'll get through it. You fall out of love with people eventually, it's not like I'm destined for sadness forever. I'll be okay, it's my fault for falling in love with someone who couldn't fall in love with me."

And that makes Aaron feel one hundred thousand times worse. 

"I don't want you destined for that at all." He shoots back, anger clear in his tone. He's angry at himself, not her. She stares at him knowingly and gives him a small smile, because she knows he's telling the truth and she knows how much he cares about her, even if it's not in the way she'd hoped for. She spends a moment thinking to herself, presumably contemplating a plan for the future now it doesn't belong in Aaron's hands. "I don't want you destined for that either," She tells him. "You and Rob...you're destiny. Not you and me." 

Aaron steps forward and presses a kiss to her cheek and he can swear he can feel her skin light up beneath his lips. She falls into his arms and he holds her tightly, wrapping his arms around her as if he's loved her all his life. He wants her to feel the happiness one last time, wants her to believe he's in love with her as he should have been so that she can take something positive with her after they separate. 

She lets go and disappears behind the barn, which is when he lets himself fall back where he needs to be. Robert's arms are warm and comforting, relaxing his muscles instantly after their bodies come into contact. "Can we go home?" Aaron yawns, pressing a lazy kiss to the older man's jaw. 

Robert doesn't reply but their fingers link which Aaron presumes represents a yes, and everything in the world seems a little bit brighter. He stands by what he said when he was fourteen, he wouldn't wish this on anyone, but he'd sure wish it on himself a thousand times over if it meant he could feel Robert's love all of those times.


End file.
